Date: Apr 1, 2008 at 10:28 am Subject: Our own little world Security: Public Mood: contemplative Tags: day to day, rebecca

Rebecca is 3 weeks and 3 days old. Time is absolutely flying by.

My life is so different now. I hardly ever have time to go on the internet! Rebecca likes to be held, even when she sleeps, which is really sweet and I don't really mind at all, because holding her is my favourite thing ever. But it makes it very difficult to do things that involve using my arms. Before I know it she is going to be so big and won't want to cuddle me all day or fall asleep in my arms. So I'm soaking it up now.

Being on maternity leave is so strange. I spend my days doing various chores, shopping, visiting friends, or napping with the baby. It feels like such a luxurious life. I feel so disconnected from the world... right now it's just me and my sweet little girl.

Date: Mar 14, 2008 at 2:48 pm Subject: Rebecca's Birth Story Security: Public Mood: happy Tags: pregnancy, rebecca

Rebecca's birth story...

On Tuesday March 4 at my 38 week appointment my urine tested positive for protein. That plus my insane swelling led my midwife to send me to the hospital to consult with the OB. So we went on Thursday (March 6) to the hospital at 8am and we waited and waited. They checked my BP and it was going higher and higher, and eventually the midwife and OB decided to induce labour. They gave me the cervical gel at around suppertime and sent me home... with instructions to come back after dinner for another round of the gel. I went back but they decided I didn't need any more gel, at this point I was already starting to have intermittent contractions, and I got sent home again with instructions to come back the next morning at 7am.

Friday March 7 we showed up and they started me on oxytocin in the hopes of restarting my contractions which had petered out overnight. I started it at around 9am, and we waited. Not much was happening. Me, Derrick, my friend Tanya, and Jen (the midwife) were basically all just sitting around in the labour room chatting. Tanya and I played cards for a while. I dilated to about 2cm. At 2:00 pm, the on-call OB, Dr. Nwebube, broke my water. Contractions started up after that and by 5:00 I was dilated to 5cm and begging for the epidural. After getting the epi I felt a lot better... until it started wearing off. I was dilated to 7cm and Jen gave me an epi "top-up" at around 7:00. I needed another top-up at 9:00... my epidural just kept wearing off. At 9:00 pm I was dilated to 9 centimeters, but the baby's heart rate was starting to climb, so Jen had to turn off the oxytocin. Unfortunately, turning that off completely stopped my dilating and I stayed at 9cm until midnight. After consulting with the OB (it was Dr. Francis - after the shift change) they decided I needed a c-section. The baby wasn't moving down, I wasn't making any progress. I was scared and totally broke down.

They took me to the OR and the anesthesiologist decided to give me a spinal block because of the fact that my epidural kept wearing off before - he didn't want to chance it wearing off during the surgery. The spinal was scary - I was completely paralyzed from the boobs down. I couldn't move my arms or even feel myself breathing. At one point I asked Jen what was taking so long to start the surgery - the baby was almost out at that point! But I didn't even know they had started.

A minute later, at 1:04 am I heard them say "It's a girl" and I couldn't believe it. I really thought it would be a boy. They dropped the sheet to show her to me but I couldn't see her. The first time I saw my daughter was when she was in Derrick's arms. He put her near my face so I could give her a kiss. At this point I was so overcome and out of it... I was trying to focus on the baby but all I could think of was how thirsty I was. Someone put a wet washcloth in my mouth to suck on and I was so thankful.

I got wheeled into recovery and kept asking the nurse how much longer ... I was in there about a half an hour. I bargained with her to let me take a sip of water if I promised not to swallow it... my mouth was just SO dry. Eventually she let me have a cup of ice chips. I vaguely remember the nurses transfering me from the table to my bed, and somebody brought the baby to me. Right away they put her to my breast and I was able to feed her. I could barely move and don't remember much about it, but just being with her was so amazing. Derrick took a picture of our first moment together... the time on the photo is 1:40 am.

So. I didn't get the birth I wanted. I was terrified during the c-section. I didn't get to hold my baby for over a half hour after her birth. My friend Tanya wasn't able to witness the birth like we'd planned. My midwife didn't deliver the baby. ... But there were a lot of good things about it too. I had a fairly easy recovery (minus the whole BP issue), not too much bleeding, nurses that helped me breastfeed Rebecca first thing when I was so out of it, and best of all - I got my beautiful, amazing daughter.

Date: Mar 13, 2008 at 3:37 pm Subject: Introducing... Security: Public Mood: ecstatic Tags: pregnancy, rebecca

Rebecca Catherine VanderLely

Born March 8 at 1:04 am via c-section. 7 pounds, 2 ounces, 21 inches long. I'm in love.

Date: Mar 4, 2008 at 11:34 am Subject: Pregnancy news Security: Public Mood: anxious Tags: day to day, pregnancy

37 weeks 6 days pregnant...

Today's appointment with the midwife was interesting... my urine dipstick tested positive for protein. This means one of two things. Either I have a bladder infection, or I'm developing pre-eclampsia. The midwives are sending my urine sample for analysis today. I have had a few bladder infections already during this pregnancy, so that would be no surprise. But if it turns out that I don't have a bladder infection, then they will send me to the hospital to be checked over by the OB, have a non-stress test, and likely be induced soon. Eek!

The three big symptoms of pre-eclampsia are protein in urine (check), swelling of fingers, feet and face (HUGE check), and raised blood pressure (nope, still normal). It is going to feel like a long wait for the tests to come back - I find out the results tomorrow. I hope I don't have pre-eclampsia. It can be dangerous for the baby... restrict the flow of nutrients and oxygen. :(

Also, the baby's head has dropped and engaged. I am getting the feeling that this little one wants OUT. Who can blame him/her? It must be awfully cramped quarters in there.

In non-pregnancy news, it's my birthday. I'm 26. Yay!

Date: Feb 27, 2008 at 2:26 pm Subject: Baked... and shaken Security: Public Tags: day to day, pregnancy, work

37 weeks pregnant...

As of today I am full term. That means that if I were to have the baby today it would be considered in the realm of normal timing and the baby wouldn't be called premature. This seems like a huge milestone. But on the other hand it is such a tease - birth could be up to 4 weeks away still. I feel like a ticking time bomb.

I am slowly getting more and more freaked out about the whole maternity leave thing. I haven't finished everything I'd hoped I would. I only have 2 1/2 more weeks of work and I don't think it will get done. Not to mention that I still have to plan out things for Derrick and for my replacement to do while I'm gone... get everything set up so that they can access the systems and databases... bring Derrick up to speed on all my miscellaneous responsibilities... oh so much needs to be done. And of course because of the stress I am doing the classic trick of feeling so overwhelmed that I am paralyzed and end up doing NOTHING.

It's weird because for so long my work life has had a good balance. My job is not stressful but it is demanding enough to keep me interested and challenging enough so that I'm not bored. I have extreme confidence in my abilities at work and I know I'm a valued member of the staff. I have an excellent work reputation. And I'm afraid that it's all going down the tubes. I'm leaving for a year. That is a long time. And I'm leaving with things undone. I hate that. Not to mention the fact that I'm about to embark on something so drastically different... the whole motherhood thing is such an unknown entity - a huge question mark. I have no idea how I'm going to handle the stress of it, or if I'm going to be any good at it. And that scares the heck out of me. Add that to the fact that I am still going to be connected to work... I don't know how I am going to handle both at once.

In a nutshell... eek.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

Date: Feb 14, 2008 at 9:38 am Subject: Nursery Photos Security: Public Mood: accomplished Tags: pictures, pregnancy

Pictures of the baby's room!







A close-up of the gorgeous mosaic that Vanessa made:


The only thing missing now is the baby!

Date: Feb 5, 2008 at 1:41 pm Subject: Catch up Security: Public Mood: tired Tags: day to day, events & holidays, friends & loved ones, pregnancy, work

33 weeks 6 days pregnant...

I took a sick day today. Yesterday when I woke up I thought I might be getting a cold and that is the last thing I want because I am already so run down and tired from hauling all this extra weight around. This morning when I woke up I had the exact same feeling so I decided to try and sleep it off today.

Sunday was my baby shower and it was awesome! Everyone was so sweet and helpful and I had a great time. I can't believe how many gifts I received. When I came home after the shower Derrick and his sister had already unloaded all the gifts into our house and it was like a baby store exploded in here. I'll have to remember to post some pictures of the shower later. I passed camera duties for the afternoon on to my mom and I still haven't had a chance to even look at the pictures she took.

I had a doctors appointment yesterday morning and went to work in the afternoon. The doctors appointment was a huge waste of time - I had to go and see the OB in the hospital where I'll be delivering the baby. The upside was that I was able to preregister so that when I'm actually in labour I won't have to do the paperwork. The afternoon at work was a total write off - I was so tired and out of it I don't think I accomplished one single thing. After work and after dinner we went over to the Brick and bought a new sofa for the rec room downstairs. After that I went to Walmart to exchange some of the duplicate baby gifts for things I still needed off my registry. Then when I got home I wrote about 30 of the thank you cards for the shower gifts. Needless to say, it was a busy busy day.

So this morning I stayed home to sleep. I was woken up at 10:00 by the phone ringing, it was my boss. He was calling to inform me that they are planning a baby party for me. So I guess I jumped the gun before with my huge over-reaction. I guess my party planner just isn't as on-the-ball as whoever is planning the other girl's party, haha. I'm glad that I wasn't overlooked.

Today is all about relaxing. If a cold is coming on I am going to do everything I have to stop it before it gets going. And even if it's not I could definitely use the rest. So I am not leaving my couch for the rest of today. (Hooray for this laptop and the wireless internet!) I still have a few baby gift exchanges to do, and there is still a huge mess in the living room and the nursery from the shower aftermath, but I am going to do my best to ignore it all and try and take it easy.

Date: Jan 24, 2008 at 10:44 pm Subject: 32 weeks pregnant Security: Public Mood: amused Tags: pictures, pregnancy

Just me and my basketball...

Date: Jan 23, 2008 at 1:26 pm Subject: Nest Security: Public Mood: impatient Tags: day to day, pregnancy

32 weeks pregnant...

Last night I put the remote control on top of my belly and watched it bounce around. This is what a couch-bound pregnant woman does for entertainment. The baby was kicking me so forcefully that it actually hurt. At this point I am just sort of expecting my belly to tear open the next time that happens, because it seriously feels like the baby is trying to bust its way out like a baby bird busts out of its egg. In theory, I love it that the baby is kicking so hard because it means that it's big and healthy. In practice, it hurts like an S.O.B. and I am sitting there crying "stop it!" while trying to push the foot (or whatever body part) back in.

The other day my mother-in-law brought over my baby shower gift: the crib mattress. Yay! Getting the mattress is great because it allowed me to make up the baby's bed. The bedding looks absolutely adorable in there. I read recently though that putting the crib bumpers in there is a bad idea and not recommended by health professionals due to increased risk of SIDS, so the bumpers will be coming out again. It looks SO cute with the bumpers, but not worth the health risk! I think I'm going to hang the bumpers on the wall instead. Then I will still get to use them and enjoy their cuteness, and I won't have to buy any wall decorations.

I did realize that I am going to have to buy some sort of toy box though. Right now I have no place to store any toys. I am thinking of getting something like this. I guess it will depend on what I can find in stores around here. It is very difficult to shop when you are not allowed to walk around. By the way, who knew toy boxes were so expensive?? I like that one though because it matches the other furniture in the nursery but it is also nice enough that I could put it in the living room and it would blend in there too.

I am hitting serious nesting mode. I'm sure all this talk about baby furniture and decorating is thrilling to everyone reading this. Um, not.

Date: Jan 18, 2008 at 12:50 pm Subject: I think I'm a sofa Security: Public Mood: amused Tags: humour, pictures, pregnancy

( Who needs a table? )

Date: Jan 16, 2008 at 1:22 pm Subject: Stresses Security: Public Mood: stressed Tags: annoyances, day to day, pregnancy, work

31 weeks pregnant...

Nine weeks to go. Give or take. Hopefully take... I am ready to meet the baby already! Being pregnant is fun and all but I miss being able to walk and exercise and shop and all those things that require mobility. I miss grocery shopping. I almost miss doing the dishes. Not quite there yet. My SPD pain comes and goes. A few days ago I was feeling almost normal, but then yesterday was the worst it's ever been. It's a crapshoot. Emphasis on the "crap".

I am alternating between looking forward to leaving work and dreading leaving work. There is one girl I work with who always comes into my office to ask me dumb questions about Word and Excel and every time I help her she is like "you can't go on leave". It sort of pisses me off because a) telling you how to do sums on a spreadsheet is SO NOT MY JOB anyway, and b) I don't want to spend my time off feeling guilty because I left you hanging.

I actually feel a lot of guilt towards work with the whole maternity leave thing. It really sucks because I spent a great majority of my 3 years working here having almost nothing to do, waiting for the start of the "big project", and then I finally got pregnant and right around that same time they decided to actually start the big project. So now I am leaving right in the middle of the big project. And I feel like a jerk. And I'm also worried that I am going to be getting a lot of calls and emails asking me questions when I am on my maternity leave and that is SO not what I want. If D didn't work with me, my attitude would be "I am on maternity leave, I am not getting paid to work, therefore I am not working or thinking about work for a year." But I really don't want to leave Derrick hanging while I'm gone because I want him to have the best possible job performance during my leave so his contract gets renewed this year. Because if he doesn't stay employed now we are screwed sideways.

What this likely means for me is I am going to be dealing with a newborn baby and a ton of questions about the big work project at the same time.

I wish I could have jobs like other people's where they just go on maternity leave and their job leaves them alone until they get back. I wish I would be able to just forget about work and focus on being a mom. Alas, 'tis not to be.

Date: Jan 2, 2008 at 3:58 pm Subject: How do you spell sucks? S-P-D. Security: Public Mood: pissed off Tags: body & health, day to day, pregnancy

29 weeks pregnant...

I am in pain. Painful, painful pain. I can't walk. Or stand. Or turn. Or basically move my lower body at all without wanting to cry. This is not fun.

I have Symphysis pubis dysfunction. Basically my pubic bones are pulling apart. It is even more painful than it sounds.

It came on sort of suddenly. I had a few episodes of pelvic pain over the holidays but I just chalked it up to overdoing it. But this morning was the worst pain yet and all I did was get out of bed. All day today it's been hurting.

My midwife recommended that I stop working and that I don't do any unnecessary moving around. I am not even allowed to go grocery shopping! (Not that I would want to, ouuuuuch.) But I figured that since I just sit at work all day that is no different from sitting at home, and I decided to come to work anyway. I really don't want to start my leave early. I also really don't want to be immobile for the next 11 weeks. This just sucks.

I have an appointment with a physiotherapist tomorrow. Hopefully they will be able to give me some relief!

I'm sort of mad about this. I mean, I was in such good shape before I got pregnant. I stayed healthy during. I do not want to be crippled and/or bedridden!

Date: Dec 17, 2007 at 3:38 pm Subject: the wonder Security: Public Mood: contemplative Tags: day to day, events & holidays, goals, pregnancy, work

26 weeks 5 days pregnant...

I hate being at work this time of year. I feel like there is so much to do and I'm just wasting my time sitting here for 8 hours every day. I'm definitely not getting much accomplished in the office these days. Today it wasn't even my fault - there was a fire alarm in the building and we all had to leave for an hour. OK, maybe the other 6 unproductive hours of today are my fault though.

In baby news, I'm starting to get concerned about the number of limbs this baby has. It kicks and punches ALL the time now. Basically if I'm not moving, the baby is moving. Sometimes I can't even imagine what position it must be in because I'm feeling kicks in three different places at once. Maybe he or she is going to be a gymnast. Or a kung fu fighter. Or an octopus.

With it being Christmas time and all, I find myself really wishing the baby were here already. I am totally looking forward to next Christmas, and the ones to follow. It will be so fun to watch my son or daughter open presents, learn to sing carols, build snowmen... it sounds cheesy but it's going to be amazing seeing the wonder of Christmas through the eyes of a child.

Date: Dec 12, 2007 at 3:47 pm Subject: Mishmash Security: Public Mood: content Tags: day to day, events & holidays, home life, pregnancy, work

26 weeks pregnant...

This has been one of the most unproductive work weeks ever. Between the baby moving all day and Christmas right around the corner, I can't concentrate on work at all.

Tomorrow is our work Christmas party. I always look forward to this one because the food is delicious. It's a traditional dinner - turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, etc... my favourites. Yum! Not to mention that it takes place during work hours, in the afternoon, which gives us all a break from the office.

...Not that anyone comes in at this time of year anyway. This place is a ghost town. But we support staff have to stick it out till the 21st!

---

I am done my Christmas shopping. Yay! I still need to wrap but that is the fun part. Actually the shopping is pretty fun too because it's guilt-free. I always feel sort of bad about buying things for myself (why??) but since the Christmas gifts are all for others I can just enjoy shopping with no worries!

Speaking of shopping, I went and cashed in most of my Shoppers Optimum points last weekend. They were having a promotion where you could get more money off than usual, so I jumped at the chance to capitalize. I bought $315 worth of stuff and only paid the tax - $40! Let me tell you, it is not that easy to spend $315 at the drug store. I bought a lot of toilet paper, toothpaste, soap, and even bought a bunch of packs of diapers. Not exactly the most fun stuff to shop for, but it is a lot more fun when you know you're not paying for it!

---

I've been doing some work on the nursery lately. I finally took down the shelf above the crib and the room looks a lot bigger now! I didn't realize but the shelf was so big it was making the room look a lot smaller than it is. I also hung up the net to hold stuffed animals and cleaned up all the clutter that was still everywhere from when I built the furniture at the beginning of November. I won't be able to do much else to the room until after my baby shower, but it feels like I've made a good start. I am looking forward to getting the crib mattress so I can make up the bed.

It is a sad, sad day when you hit the age when you are looking forward to making a bed.

---

The baby is moving a lot and as much fun as it is, as much as I enjoy it, I can also see how it is sort of uncomfortable. Today it must have been cuddled up all on one side because my belly was seriously lopsided. It looked very strange! Sometimes it feels like the baby is trying to burst its way out like that scene in Aliens.

Date: Nov 28, 2007 at 10:48 pm Subject: Outgrowing proportions Security: Public Mood: amused Tags: pictures, pregnancy

I figured it's been a while since I've done a good old comparison shot. Looking at that 4 week picture, I can't believe I used to be so small.

I've been taking these pictures weekly the whole time and cropping them to the same size. But I think after this week I'm going to have to start cropping them wider... I don't fit in these image proportions anymore!

4 weeks	24 weeks

Date: Nov 28, 2007 at 1:46 pm Subject: Christmas Quiz Security: Public Mood: chipper Tags: events & holidays, quizzes & memes

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper! It's more fun to open.

2. Real tree or artificial?
Fake tree all the way! We used to have a real tree when I was younger and I have had one too many needles in the foot.

3. When do you put up the tree?
It always varies. Last year I didn't put it up at all, but the year before I put it up the day after Remembrance Day. This year I'm putting it up on December 1st.

4. When do you take the tree down?
Probably sometime mid-January.

5. Do you like eggnog?
Ohh yes. I already drank a carton of it last week!

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
The Barbie Fold 'n Fun House. I begged my mom for that house, and I remember being SO excited when I finally opened it!

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Nope. I'm more into the cutesy/cheesy decorations like the electronic dancing Christmas tree.

8. Hardest person to buy for?
Hmm. Derrick's dad?

9. Easiest person to buy for?
Probably my 6-year-old niece. Any Disney princess toy will do!

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
In recent memory? Probably the ceramic angel from Derrick's aunt. Oh, one Christmas when I was like 9 or so my dad got me a fanny pack with a deck of cards inside. That sucked.

11. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards?
Neither, I usually just put them in the recipient's hands.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Rudolph! I love all the songs in that one, and his little girlfriend with the polka dot bow.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Usually mid-November. I like to get it over with early so I don't feel as stressed as it approaches.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Probably! I can't think of anything off the top of my head, but it sounds like something I'd do.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
I love that fruitcake that everyone always makes fun of. Oh, and stuffing. And cranberry sauce. And sweet marie bars. And did I mention the stuffing?

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Coloured! But I'm one of those people that just puts every possible ornament on the tree and it always ends up a mishmash of colors and styles.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
Walking in a Winter Wonderland. I'm not a fan of actually walking anywhere in the winter, but it's nice to hear someone else sing about it!

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
I've never travelled at Christmas, but given the option I'd prefer to stay home. In my opinion, Christmas is about being with your family!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers?
Yes, of course! Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen. And Rudolph.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
I have a colourful lighted star. I'm not against angels though!

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
I am all about Christmas morning. How can you open your presents on Christmas Eve when Santa hasn't even come yet???

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Trying to drive anywhere.

23. What I love most about Christmas?
Lots of things. Seeing family, eating yummy food, all the lit up houses, Christmas parties, time off work... what's not to love?

Date: Nov 26, 2007 at 10:19 am Subject: Noid. Security: Public Mood: annoyed Tags: annoyances, day to day, pregnancy, work

23 weeks 5 days pregnant...

You know what is really annoying? Water. Especially when it is in places it shouldn't be. For instance, when it is dripping out of the exhaust fan in the bathroom ceiling. Or, when it is soaking the carpeting in the corner of what will soon be the nursery. Stupid water. Also, our landlord is in Hawaii. Stupid landlord. I did speak to the landlord once about the ceiling leak before he left, and at least he put me in contact with a roofer. I spoke to the roofer on Thursday and nobody has come to fix our ceiling yet. As for the leak in the nursery I have no idea where the water is even coming from. The ceiling and walls aren't wet, just the carpet along the baseboards and in one corner of the room.

Annoying!

You know what else is really annoying? Having a muscle twitching right underneath your eye for hours at a time. I wonder if this annoyance is caused by the other annoyance.

And here's a third annoyance. I have been trying to get a hold of this guy at work for over a week now, he's not returning my phone calls or emails and it is driving me crazy! I need him to do one tiny thing for me and I am about 5 minutes away from walking down to his office and cornering him. I really hate doing that, because I hate when people do that to me, but honestly it takes 5 seconds to respond to an email... if you are that busy, just write back and say "I'm busy, I'll contact you next week." See? Not hard. There is one upside to going there in person though. He will see that I'm pregnant and then maybe he'll feel bad about giving me a hard time. Ha! I must milk this for all it is worth.

Now on to better topics. The baby's movements are getting so much more pronounced now. Last night I could feel a little foot poking out! I was sort of playing with the baby... its foot would poke out, and I'd push on it, and then it would poke out again. I'm feeling a lot more pushing and rolling feelings as well as kicks now. It feels really strange! I can't wait till I can actually hold the baby and touch his/her little feet and hands. But I definitely am enjoying this time where I have the baby all to myself.

Date: Nov 20, 2007 at 8:48 pm Subject: unlock!!! Security: Public Mood: pissed off Tags: annoyances, day to day

I am so annoyed. I forgot the combination to my combo lock. So it is stuck locked on my gym bag. And also when I go to the gym I can't lock my locker. I discovered this when I got to the gym last night.

I have been trying to remember the damn combination since last night. WHY is it not coming to me? I remember the combo for my high school locker. I know pi to 100 decimal places. I've memorized my bank account number, credit card number, and even the number on my freaking library card.

But I can not unlock this lock, which I used as recently as August. It's only been 3 months!

What the heck is wrong with me?!?!?